Envy's Journal
by k o u s e n
Summary: This is a journal because diaries are for girls...which people tend to mistake me for.
1. Entry One

**Envy's Journal**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. A whole bunch of lucky people do.**

**---**

Well, here I go… 

Sloth said it would be good for me to keep a journal. She said it would help with my temper. I don't _have_ a temper.

This is a journal because diaries are for girls…which people tend to mistake me for. They are so odd. Like today, before Sloth threw this thing at my head, I decided I wanted a doughnut. Because doughnuts are good for you. And they taste good. I couldn't just go out in public dressed as my normal self, because girls would be jumpin' all over me. So, I decided to disguise myself as the Fullmetal Runt. Since he wasn't anywhere in Central, that is. I had to pick someone who wouldn't come barging in on me while I'm eating my doughnut and cause a scene. I SO do not cause scenes.

So, anyway, I was in the doughnut shop waiting in line, and some guy from the military walks in. Well, I guess he and the Fullmetal Runt are friends cause he came over and just started talking! Then he tried to smother me with pictures of his daughter! I never even got my doughnut cause I ran out of that place…I went to get coffee instead.

I still want a doughnut.

Maybe I'll send the kid to get one. Wrath is such a little brat…he won't mind.

---

_I don't plan on making these too long. Drabble length each maybe. Because I'll update whenever I can…or want to… Expect humor, and some homunculi bashing! WHOOT! I am so odd, so beware._

**Review if you please.**

**KTHANXBAI**


	2. Entry Two

**Envy's Journal**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. A whole bunch of lucky people do.**

_Because of popular demand, I have decided to update! (I was going to anyway, but you don't have to know that…)_

**---**

That little brat is a freakin MONSTER! I send him out to get a doughnut, and he EATS IT!

I guess I forgot to tell him to get the doughnut _for me_, but that's not the point. The point is, I never got my doughnut! So, what do I do about that? I decide doughnuts aren't the best thing. Maybe…ice cream. Yeah, ice cream. SO, I go out to some ice cream place. Well, everything went just fine. I got my ice cream—with sprinkles of course—and I sat in the park and ate it.

Who knew we had a park?

Well, I was sitting and enjoying my ice cream when a BIRD lands next to me on the park bench. I swing at it with my first and I say "Shoo, go away." And it flies off then comes back.

Damned bird…

So, I finally get the bird to go away. My ice cream if half melted by then. So, I'm mad. But, I eat the ice cream anyway. Then, out of no where, a flock of like twenty birds comes flyin' at me, and they knock my ice cream to the ground! Then, like fifty more bird and every squirrel in the park come running at my ice cream.

They ate my ice cream.

I swear, I'm never eating again.

---

_Hope this was ok for everyone._

_Tomorrow is my birthday –dances-_

**Review?**

**Please?**

**KTHANXBAI**


	3. Entry Three

**Envy's Journal**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. A whole bunch of lucky people do.**

**---**

Since I decided to stop eating, I had to find _something_ to do, right?

Ok, well, Sloth didn't agree but whatever…I went out today to find something to do. I mean, I can't be _bored_. Right? Well, I was walking and all of a sudden, I looked down and WHAM! I saw it! A dollar! So, I picked it up. I looked around to see if anyone around had dropped it…not that I would've given it back if they had.

This was MY dollar now.

I felt this odd tingly feeling as I looked at the dollar. It was like…we were meant to find…I mean as if **I **were meant to find** it**. Well, I stuffed the dollar in my pocket and started walking again. I hadn't gotten very far when it was like the dollar was _screaming_ to get out!

I pulled it from my pocket, and looked at it. I named the dollar Fred. Because I always wanted a bet named Fred. I couldn't have a pet now because Gluttony would eat the damn thing…

So, me and Fred went on walking.

Then, BAM! I saw something else!

A coke machine!

I looked at Fred. Then I looked at the coke machine.

I ran over and stuffed Fred in, clicking the button for root beer.

I am so evil, not even asking Fred if he preferred diet or regular…

---

**Heh xD**

**Happy Birthday to me. –dances again-**

**Review?**

**Please?**

**KTHANXBAI**


End file.
